Equality Through Polyamory

Sep 2 '2020, 11:15 AM | By Chris

Issues surrounding equality have been flooding the news cycle lately.

Racial and gender inequality have been massive problems for as long as anyone alive today can remember, and then some. The tendency of humans to use their perceived position of power to keep others ‘beneath’ them is a mortal wound we cannot seem to heal. We cry, we fight, we teach, and strive, yet racism and sexism pervade right in our faces, and in some of the most secretive aspects of society. Could polyamory be a tool for a better future? Not only does polyamory encourage more people to love each other in deeper ways, it can provide the answer to a history wrought with the evils of selfish and self serving perspectives on life.

Polyamory can provide a more promising future and the world needs to be ready for it.

Studies have shown that dating apps have done more to integrate society in modern times than almost any past efforts. When we’re in dating mode we leave ourselves open to experiencing people, and their personal cultures, on a far deeper level than only a few conversations with someone we see mostly in passing. We go out more, we meet more people, and we aren’t tied down to a person that is very likely to require most of your free time. Let’s face it, monogamous people end up taking up most of each other’s time. Not always, but often. The dating phase is a time of growth, expanding awareness, and exposure. Monogamous marriage typically starts a process of avoiding exposure, and of heavily managed growth. Polyamory flips this concept on its head. Many polyamorous people, or relationships, can spend their lives in something closer to the dating phase. Maybe this sounds terrible to some people, but the dating world for people that already have a relationship is nowhere near as lonely as it can be for a single person. On top of that, you’ll be meeting people from different backgrounds, religions, and cultures all the time. The more you’re exposed to people different from yourself, the better able to embrace diversity you become.

Increasing diversity is unavoidable as the world moves into a more connected future. Many of the darker parts of many cultures will be revealed as our exposure to one another continues to expand. One blight on too many parts of the world is a terribly patriarchal control factor that attempts to keep women in what is perceived to be ‘their place.’

Polyamorous relationships can address this issue as well, as long as they avoid any patriarchal form that seeks to strip women of free will.

If a group of people decide to love each other, and form an intimate relationship, sexuality and any form of control falls into question. The polyamorous community can work to ensure that women around the world have a choice in matters of the man, men, woman, or women they choose to love. Society has made great progress recently in smoking out men that force women into unwanted marriages, or use religion to claim authority over women and girls in their community. As polyamory grows and becomes a societal norm, the ability to call out the bad apples and maintain a safe world for all polyamorous people increases.

Keep in mind, there are many good polygamous families in this world. No part of supporting polyamory should include an intent to remove options from people. There is nothing wrong if a woman wants to become a sister wife and live in a traditional polygamous setting. There is nothing wrong with a man that wishes to seek out sister wives to grow a family to lead. Polygamy dating is just as valid and good as poly dating of any kind, as long as everyone is involved by choice. The key word in any dating situation is ‘choice.’ This is where polyamory excels in encouraging more equality around the world. Ensuring that everyone has a choice in their relationship and lifestyle is a huge step toward breaking down the patriarchal stronghold that poisons so much in our world. Some claim that breaking down a man’s control over his family (and the world) won’t encourage equality, rather it will shift control elsewhere. Not true! It’s scary to let go of some control, but it has to happen in order for society to find more balance. Polyamory empowers everyone involved to find balance. It also gives the added benefit of more than just two perspectives to influence and encourage a healthy equilibrium.

There is a lot of anger floating around this year. 2020 is a year we will never forget. People are at each other's throats over racial injustice, political differences, pandemic stress, and who knows what else is to come this year. Polyamorous and polygamous people may actually be forced to step outside of the dating world for a while in order to stay safe. If you’re blessed to already have one or more people in your life, take this time to grow a deeper relationship and consider the things you can do to encourage a more equitable world moving forward. Plural marriages and relationships often have the benefit of more resources, and more hands on deck, to accomplish great things.

Think about how fortunate you are and how to share your fortune with others. Consider all the ways polyamory can help bring the world together. If the power of poly love is properly harnessed and spread throughout the world, equality won’t seem like such an impossible thing to achieve.