Dating Sites Discriminate Against LGBTQIAPD+

Mar 17 '2022, 11:44 AM | By Chris

Online dating is already challenging on its own, having to evade romance scams and catfish profiles. Dating as a straight male or female, however, is easy because most dating services are coded to meet the heteronormative individual’s needs. Ironically, the gender binary mirrors the binary code, a phenomenon we see on most dating sites.

Here’s what I mean.

Most Dating Sites Are Not Made for Poly Users

When you identify as one or the other in the gender binary, the binary code heeds your call. M looking for F or F looking for M — it’s simple. If you identify as non-binary or anything other than cis-het, it’s a whole different experience. Such is the case for most LGBTQIAPD+ people on dating apps.

Many of us who don’t identify as strictly cis-het face discrimination on dating apps and sites. For instance, if you put yourself out there as a poly individual on your profile description, you’re more likely to get banned. I’ve experienced it myself.

Unfortunately, Tinder, Match Group LLC is one of the main offenders. Even moderately popular dating services like #open aren’t immune to this unfairness. In fact, Google Play suspended #open in 2021, citing violation of Google’s “Sexual Content and Profanity policy” as the reason.

But how can an app who supports ethical non-monogamy be guilty of promoting profanity and inappropriate sexual content, while large players like Tinder, who are infamous for hookup culture, remain untouched?

The simple truth is, most dating apps don’t cater to poly members.

Does Tinder Allow Joint Accounts?

Per their terms of service, Tinder does not allow joint accounts between partners or friends.

What Are Other Poly Dating Apps?

There are many poly-friendly dating apps and services available such as Sister Wives®. Other options are OkCupid, #open, Feeld, and Bumble.

Other Instances of Discrimination in the Poly Community

Although the United States (and other countries) are making progress by acknowledging the validity of poly families, instituting anti-discriminatory laws, and busting down myths about being poly, the LGBTQIAPD+ community as a whole still faces momentous obstacles.

Laws That Promote Intolerance

● Illegality of gay marriage in many countries

● Illegality of poly marriages in most countries

● Lack of protection against dsicrimination based on gender identity when it comes to housing, employment, and public accommodations (Wisconsin, USA)

● Lack of mental and other medical support specially designed for LGBTQIAPD+ patients

● Lack of financial help for transgender patients

Attitudes and Misconceptions That Encourage Stereotypes

● Asexual people and many LGBTQIAPD+ folks have a mental illness

● Poly users on dating services (and in person) are just looking for promiscuous relations

● Children raised by same-sex parents are traumatized or develop unhealthily

● Identifying as LGBTQIAPD+ is wrong, abnormal, and not valid

● Identifying as poly is just a fad

● Marriage is strictly between one man and one woman

● Identifying as LGBTQIAPD+ means your parents raised you “wrong”

Why Discriminatory Laws and Attitudes Matter

When your gender identity and sexual orientation are threatened by the very law of the land, you cannot enjoy the same freedoms as your heterosexual, cisgender peers. Unfair treatment against the LGBTQIAPD+ community is prevalent.

These unfair treatments include substantial setbacks like being unable to close a house deal because the seller is prejudiced against same-sex relationships. Other seemingly minor but equally unjust incidents include being exempt from simple privileges like using a dating app when you identify as poly.

As a result, your life is governed by inconvenience at best, and malicious injustice at worst.

That’s why we have to challenge discrimination when we see it. Large dating services banning poly and other LGBTQIAPD+ users is only a small aspect of the bigoted system that keeps the our community oppressed.

Protecting Sister Wives® Users From Discrimination

All of us at Sister Wives® have been champions of poly love for more than 12 years, and we’re not going anywhere. Unlike other platforms, our service allows you to sign up as an individual, couple, or group. We understand that not every relationship fits a certain mold—particularly a monogamous one—and we support that.

Whether you’re a couple seeking an individual to create a hierarchical poly relationship with, or a solo polyamorist in search of other solo polyamorists, we can help you find the relationship configuration that works for you.