Benefits of Polyamory

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Benefits of Polyamory

(A reflection on how exploring non-monogamy can inform healthier, more intentional relationships.)

Dating in Your Twenties: Explore Freely

When you are in your twenties, it is natural to experiment with different types of relationships. You are still discovering who you are and what you really want. Most of us do not stay with our first love from high school, and that is perfectly okay. Your twenties are a safe space to figure out your likes and dislikes, as well as what you bring to the table. At some point, though, you reach a stage where you want to take your romantic life more seriously.

In the early weeks or months of every relationship, it is understandable to walk away if you spot a deal-breaker. That is a time of figuring out whether the connection has real potential. However, if you have been seeing someone for six months and disappear without a word (unless you need to protect your safety), that is unkind.

How Polyamory Changed My Perspective

I stumbled into polyamory after a decade of serial monogamy. For four years, I explored what it was like to love more than one person at a time, and it completely reshaped my understanding of commitment. Looking back, I realized I had been monogamous for the wrong reasons. Social norms often push us to settle into relationships simply because we happen to like someone enough, rather than truly considering our deeper needs and values.

My joke was that it took three or four men to make one really fulfilling partner. That humor was my way of saying I felt I would never find all the traits I wanted in one person. Eventually, I met someone who showed me otherwise. He checked off nearly every quality I was searching for, which made me realize I was ready to switch back to monogamy. It was not about a blazing spark or a dizzying state of infatuation. It was simply the recognition that I had found the kind of connection I thought was impossible.

When the Spark Fades

Many friends of mine have recently ended long-term relationships, ranging from six months to five years. They all heard that painful line: “I love you, but I am not in love with you anymore.” While it hurts, the truth is that the honeymoon phase does not last forever. Over time, the giddy excitement settles into a different rhythm. You can reignite the spark with mutual effort, but it will not be the exact same rush as those first few months.

A genuine monogamist understands this cycle. Losing the butterflies is not a sign that the relationship is doomed. Long-term love is not about constantly chasing that exhilarating high; it is about building a life together. When the sparks inevitably cool, you can choose to work together to keep the relationship fulfilling.

Polyamory vs. Serial Monogamy

If you leave every relationship the moment the magic fades, consider whether you might be a spark-chaser rather than a long-burner. Polyamory can be a great fit for those who want to experience the thrill of new connections without hiding it from their partner. There is nothing shameful about needing variety, as long as you approach it ethically and honestly.

In our culture, people often view a serial dater in a more positive light than someone who embraces ethical non-monogamy. Yet someone who chooses polyamory is often more transparent about their desire for multiple connections than a person who cycles through relationships looking for endless passion.

Building Lasting Bonds

Neither polyamory nor monogamy can promise you a lifetime supply of butterflies on autopilot. Nature is not that romantic; it usually just needs you to stick around long enough to reproduce, which is hardly a recipe for endless excitement. People who practice monogamy learn to value the deeper rewards that come with a shared life: companionship, family, commitment, and mutual care.

Many polyamorous folks also have a primary partner who fulfills that supportive role, while other partners offer fresh experiences, novelty, and fun. Monogamists do their best to keep sparks alive, but they do so on a foundation of steady devotion. They know relationships have seasons and that you have to ride out the lows to enjoy the highs again.

Finding Your Place

If your version of searching for “The One” involves constantly jumping from relationship to relationship, hoping to feel an everlasting rush, it may be time to acknowledge who you really are. Spark-chasers often thrive best when they embrace non-monogamy, because it aligns with their natural desire for newness.

On the flip side, if you yearn for a long-term teammate who stands beside you through every season of life, then monogamy may be your best path. Embracing that choice requires understanding that real love is not always glamorous. It can be deeply fulfilling, but it also involves patience and work.

For a rare few, the best of both worlds is possible when someone masters the art of polyamory, balancing multiple relationships with clarity and respect. For most people, though, the key is figuring out what you want and living that truth openly. If you prefer to date multiple people, then do so honestly. If you want a stable, one-on-one connection that endures, invest in the effort, communication, and willingness to let the butterflies rest occasionally.

Whichever path you choose, what matters is self-awareness and respect for your partners. That is the foundation for building a relationship (or relationships) where everyone feels seen, supported, and fulfilled.

Published By: Sister Wives 

Matchmakers Inc