Faith, Modesty, and Polygamy: Biblical Perspectives

Oct 15 '2023, 2:20 PM | By Chris

Polygamy, which is the practice of having more than one spouse at the same time, is a topic that can spark a lot of debate. Some people are totally against it, while others think it’s acceptable, especially if it’s tied to certain religious beliefs. In some parts of the world, polygamy has been around for centuries. Even though it might seem old-fashioned in today’s culture, there are still groups who believe it follows God’s plan for families and marriage. Whether or not you agree with them, it’s important to understand why these people hold these views and how they connect polygamy to the Bible, modesty, and specific gender roles.

Faith in God and the Practice of Polygamy

When people have strong religious beliefs, they usually try to follow what they see as God’s commandments, even if society disagrees. Supporters of polygamy often point to the Bible, especially the Old Testament, where well-known figures like Abraham, Jacob, and King David each had multiple wives. These men were never directly punished just for having more than one wife, so some people argue that polygamy must not be forbidden by God, at least in certain situations.

One popular example is the command in the book of Genesis: “Be fruitful and multiply” (Genesis 1:28). Some believers see polygamy as a possible way people in ancient times carried out this instruction, particularly if they lived in communities that needed more children for survival. Still, just because the Bible shows polygamous relationships doesn’t always mean it promotes them as the best approach. For instance, King Solomon is often used as a cautionary example: he had many wives, and some say they drew him away from following God wholeheartedly.

It’s also worth noting that the Bible records both good and bad events. Sometimes, polygamy in those stories leads to jealousy, family drama, or worse. This makes the question a bit complicated: did those biblical accounts simply describe what happened, or were they trying to show what God actually wants for people? Yet, for certain communities, these Old Testament stories are enough proof that God allows or at least tolerates polygamy.

Modesty and Its Role in Polygamy

When most people think of modesty, they might imagine someone dressing in a simple, non-revealing way. While that’s part of it, many believers take modesty to mean much more. They see it as an attitude of humility, respect, and selflessness. This kind of mindset can be crucial in a polygamous family, where multiple wives, sometimes called sister wives, share one husband.

1. Avoiding Jealousy

In any marriage, jealousy can be a big issue. It might be even bigger when more than one wife is involved. After all, each wife might want attention or affection from the husband, and those feelings can clash. Believers who support polygamy say that if each wife practices modesty, staying humble, being caring, and avoiding a “me first” attitude, then it’s easier to handle jealousy.

2. Encouraging Unity

In a polygamous household, sister wives usually have to work together on household tasks, raising kids, or even sharing resources. Modesty helps them focus on being considerate and cooperative. When everyone is respectful and kind, it’s easier to deal with everyday issues like cooking meals, cleaning, or caring for children.

3. Showing God’s Values

Many people feel that being modest is about reflecting what God wants in a person’s heart. If the wives are committed to things like patience, kindness, and generosity, they believe they’re living out the teachings of the Bible. This makes the family’s environment more peaceful and, in their view, brings them closer to God.

Biblical Gender Roles in Polygamous Relationships

The Bible often talks about specific roles for men and women in the family. Generally, men are described as providers and leaders, while women are seen as nurturers and helpers. In a polygamous household, these roles can get more complicated, but they still follow the same basic outline.

The Patriarch (Husband)

In these faith-based families, the husband is expected to be the head of the household. That means he’s responsible for his wives’ emotional, physical, and spiritual well-being. Having multiple wives means he has to balance his time and resources fairly among them. He’s also expected to lead the family in prayer, Bible study, and decisions that affect everyone. If there’s conflict or jealousy among the wives, it’s often his job to step in and keep peace in the home.

The Sister Wives

According to traditional views, wives are often described in the Bible as helpers and nurturers. In a polygamous setting, sister wives might share chores, child-rearing duties, and even emotional support with each other. It can sometimes be like a cooperative, where each wife uses her strengths to keep the family strong. For instance, if one wife is good at teaching, she might help with the children’s education, while another who loves cooking can handle most of the family meals.

Of course, challenges can pop up. Even in a monogamous marriage, misunderstandings can happen. In polygamy, those issues might get multiplied. That’s why many believers who practice polygamy say that everyone needs to constantly rely on God to guide them and help them deal with problems in a loving, respectful way.

Balancing Tradition and Modern Views

Today, many countries have laws against polygamy. Most Christian denominations also believe in monogamy, one man and one woman, as the proper model for marriage. They often point to verses like Genesis 2:24, which talks about a man leaving his parents to unite with his wife, and the two becoming one flesh. That sounds like it’s describing a pair rather than a group.

Still, smaller religious groups argue that the Old Testament examples weren’t condemned, and some early Christian settlers in history practiced polygamy for a time. They see polygamy as a choice that can be guided by God, especially if the people involved are respectful and have the right motives. These groups may also point out that God didn’t seem to punish biblical patriarchs like Abraham for having multiple wives.

One common argument in favor of polygamy is that it can strengthen a community by ensuring that women and children always have support. If a husband takes on more than one wife, supporters argue that he’s taking responsibility for multiple families, making sure their emotional and financial needs are met. Critics, however, say that polygamy can lead to favoritism, neglect, or unhealthy family dynamics, especially if the husband can’t manage the needs of multiple wives and children equally.

Everyday Challenges in Polygamous Families

Living in a polygamous household isn’t just about following biblical gender roles. There are also a bunch of practical challenges. For instance, in places where polygamy is illegal, families that believe in it might only legally marry one wife, while the others are in “spiritual marriages” that aren’t recognized by law. This can lead to tricky situations with health insurance, inheritance, and even something as basic as deciding who signs official documents.

Jealousy is another big hurdle. Even the most faithful believer can struggle with sharing a spouse. Each wife has her own feelings, ambitions, and worries, and living with other wives who share the same husband can be stressful. Those who support polygamy say that regular prayer, open communication, and focusing on modesty can help reduce these issues. But even then, problems can arise, and people often have to work hard to keep harmony in the home.

Parenting in a polygamous family can also be complicated. The children might see their mothers working together like a team, which can be a positive example of cooperation. On the other hand, they might also witness arguments or tension if the wives don’t get along. How the husband and wives handle these conflicts can shape the kids’ view of family, marriage, and faith.

The Heart of the Matter

For believers who practice polygamy, the bottom line is that they feel they’re following God’s plan. They rely on examples from the Old Testament, along with their personal interpretation of “be fruitful and multiply,” to show that polygamy can be acceptable. They also focus on modesty as a crucial way for sister wives to avoid jealousy and live together peacefully. On top of that, they believe in traditional gender roles, with the husband as a spiritual leader and each wife serving as a supportive partner in the home.

However, it’s also true that most Christians reject polygamy, pointing to New Testament teachings and the idea that marriage should be between one man and one woman. They also highlight the many biblical stories where polygamy led to conflict or heartbreak, suggesting it’s not God’s ideal plan. Even though the Old Testament doesn’t always openly criticize polygamous marriages, it doesn’t exactly praise them either.

Finding Balance and Respect

In the end, polygamy remains a controversial subject. Some see it as a way to obey God and maintain a sense of extended family, while others believe it goes against the true heart of biblical marriage. It’s common for people to have strong feelings about it, especially because marriage and family are such personal, emotional topics.

No matter what side you fall on, it’s helpful to understand why some faith-based groups still practice polygamy. They look at the Old Testament and see big names like Abraham, Jacob, and David, men of faith who had multiple wives. Even if their stories were complicated, these figures remained key players in biblical history, which many interpret as at least a partial acceptance of polygamy.

On the other hand, people who oppose polygamy can point to plenty of negative examples and modern-day legal or social concerns. They say that society and Christian doctrine have moved away from ancient customs, focusing more on equal partnerships between one man and one woman. In addition, many critics argue that multiple marriages can create complicated emotional or financial problems that hurt everyone in the long run, especially the wives and children.

In a Nutshell

Polygamy may not be the norm in most parts of the world today, but for those who practice it because of their religious convictions, it represents a serious commitment to what they believe God wants. They talk about modesty as a key part of making sure jealousy doesn’t tear the family apart, and they follow what they consider biblical gender roles, with the husband leading and the wives supporting each other. Some feel that these Old Testament examples are enough to show that polygamy is a choice that God permits for certain people in certain contexts.

Meanwhile, the majority of Christian churches teach that marriage should involve only two people, pointing to scriptures that seem to promote monogamy as the divine plan. The question of whether the Bible truly allows for polygamy, or if it merely recorded historical practices without condemning them, remains a hot topic among different religious groups and scholars.

For those who practice polygamy today, life can be challenging. They deal with legal questions, cultural judgment, and the natural human emotions that come with sharing a spouse. Still, they believe that by keeping God at the center, practicing modesty, and respecting biblical principles, they can create a family that honors Him. Whether you agree or disagree with polygamy, there’s no doubt it raises important questions about faith, family, and the way people choose to follow what they believe is God’s will.