What Does the Bible Say about Polyamory? Verses & Examples

General

0

What Does the Bible Say About Polyamory? Verses and Examples

Many wonder how polyamory aligns with biblical teachings. The term polyamory is modern, describing more than one loving, committed relationship at the same time, with everyone’s consent. While the Bible does not use this word, it includes accounts of polygamy, which some relate to polyamory. Others hold that scripture sets out a clear pattern of one man and one woman for life. Below are a few scriptures and perspectives on how they might shape our understanding of multi-partner relationships in a faith-based context.

Modern Reasons for the Conversation

A 2017 study in the Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy found that more than one in five American adults have tried consensual nonmonogamy. Another survey by YouGov showed that nearly half of millennials are open to it. Many folks already live in setups that go beyond a two-partner model, and some also identify as Christians. Some polyamorous Christians encounter stigma, minimal legal protections, or religious settings that assume all relationships must follow a single pattern.

The Bible as a Collection of Writings

People sometimes say “the Bible says…” and expect a single verse to settle every question. In truth, scripture functions more like a library, compiled over centuries by many authors. Some parts include rules tailored to specific situations, while others offer accounts that may even conflict with one another. This does not mean the Bible lacks wisdom; it simply shows that careful study is often necessary.

Old Testament Examples of Multiple Partners

The Old Testament includes stories of polygamy, generally involving a man with more than one wife. Though the word polyamory was unknown in ancient Hebrew culture, the following scriptures show multi-partner households:

1. Abraham (Genesis 16; 25)

Abraham is known for his faith, yet he had a relationship with Hagar alongside his wife Sarah. Later, he married Keturah (Genesis 25). The biblical text highlights tension in his household but does not forbid this arrangement.

2. Jacob (Genesis 29–30)

Jacob married sisters Leah and Rachel and also had children with their servants. Family rivalries emerged, which some take as a sign that extra partners create discord. Others say these accounts reflect cultural norms of that era, not a universal ban.

3. David (2 Samuel 3:2–5; 5:13)

David is often celebrated in scripture and had multiple wives. Although other moral failings are condemned, simply having more than one wife is not presented as his primary wrongdoing.

4. Solomon (1 Kings 11:1–8)

Solomon had many wives and concubines, and the text says they distracted him from faithful worship. Some point to this as proof that many partners lead to spiritual compromise. Others see it as a warning that any relationship style can become problematic if it pulls someone away from devotion.

Old Testament Regulations

Certain parts of scripture regulate polygamy:

• Exodus 21:10

If a man takes another wife, he must still provide food, clothing, and marital rights to the first wife.

• Deuteronomy 21:15–17

Addresses fair inheritance for children born to different wives.

These guidelines do not forbid multiple-spouse relationships outright but stress ethical treatment of everyone involved.

“One Flesh” and the New Testament

Scriptures like Genesis 2:24 and Matthew 19:5 describe a man and woman becoming “one flesh.” Many see this as pointing to exclusive monogamy. Others note that well-known people in the Old Testament did not strictly follow a single-spouse model, so they do not interpret “one flesh” as an absolute rule against multi-partner relationships. The New Testament does place added emphasis on monogamy, especially in 1 Timothy 3:2, which says a church leader should be “the husband of one wife.” Some believe this is a universal principle, while others view it as guidance for early church leaders to avoid scandal.

The Central Role of Love

1 Corinthians 13:4–7 describes love as patient, kind, and rooted in truth. Those who see room for polyamory say these qualities can apply to any relationship built on honesty and respect. Critics believe the best way to honor these verses is through a two-person bond. Both sides turn to the Bible’s ethic of mutual care and compassion.

Practical Concerns and Freedom of Choice

Some refer to accounts of jealousy and conflict in Old Testament polygamous households, seeing them as cautionary examples that multiple partnerships can lead to emotional hurt, rivalry, and strained relationships. Others note that ancient polygamy often placed women in unequal positions, contrasting sharply with modern polyamory’s emphasis on shared decision-making and consent. 1 Corinthians 10:23 warns that while something might be allowed, it may not always be beneficial. Those in polyamorous relationships often highlight open communication and a commitment to each other’s well-being.

If you’re interested in learning more about biblical teachings on polygamy, take a look at our in-depth article on what the Bible says about polygamous relationships.

If you’re looking for additional resources, you might explore books like The Ethical Slut, Opening Up, or Sex at Dawn. You could also visit Sister Wives, which offers a community for those interested in polygamy or polyamory, including those who approach these relationships from a faith-based perspective.

Scripture portrays a variety of family forms, including men with more than one wife. Some Old Testament laws address fair treatment in such relationships, while many see later teachings as leaning toward a single spouse. Whether people interpret these scriptures as allowing multi-partner relationships or emphasizing monogamy, there remains a shared focus on love, responsibility, and transparent communication.

Published By: Sister Wives 

Matchmakers Inc