Polyamory Relationship Finances

Mar 8, 1:28 PM | By Chris

How to Manage Finances in Polyamorous Relationships?

Managing finances in polyamorous relationships requires you to talk about it first. You have to come up with a plan for how to transfer your wealth to your children, consider whether you want to keep your finances joined, separated, or somewhere in between, and frequently discuss your budget and the model you opt for. This might get more complicated depending on whether you are a solo poly, a part of a thruple, quad, or a large polycule. Let’s discuss it in more detail.

Polygamy and Finances – How to Approach It?

First of all, do not make finances a taboo in your polyamorous relationship. You need to be open and discuss money often to come up with a plan that will work for everyone, including your offspring.

Secondly, you need to start small. When embracing polyamory, managing your finances might be difficult and complex, so you should not try to come up with everything right away. Instead, make small steps. For example, set up a joint bank account for your primary spendings first, after some time, consider your “fun” budget as well, and then proceed with discussing real estate, investments, and inheritance.

Finally, you have to come up with compromises and think about the other parties. This is especially important in relationships with an uneven number of people, where someone might feel forced or pressured to follow the ideas of others. This is not only unhealthy for your finances, but for the relationship as a whole, so remember to consider what every partner has to say.

Our Tips for Polyamory Finances

So, with that short introduction behind us, we may get to the key points of this article – our tips for managing your finances in a polyamorous relationship. If you are official, check out our tips for finances in a polygamous marriage, too.

Consider Your Relationship First

What type of polyamorous relationship are you in? If you are the primary partner of two wives, your finances will look different than if you are an equal element of a throuple. Therefore, you should consider the dynamics of your relationship and build your financial model based on them.

Discuss Whether You Want to Share or Separate Your Finances

Right at the beginning of your polyamorous relationship, you should consider whether you want to join your finances or keep them separated. This might often be the bone of contention between you and your partners, so it is crucial that you discuss this early on.

You can opt for a completely shared model, a fully separated one, or something in between, where you, for instance, make a joint account for basic living expenses but pay separately for everything else. It is also critical that you think about your children at this point – who is going to pay for their education, basic needs, school trips, etc.? This might be a difficult question to answer if you want to keep your finances separate, but you have to agree on it if you want to be successful in your polyamorous parenting.

Plan Your Retirement and Inheritance

Do not only focus on the here and now, think about the future. Polygamy and finances might be especially difficult to plan when inheritance is involved, as it might be difficult to leave one or two houses for several children and partners, but you need to tackle this challenge.

The same case occurs with insurance, though it is slightly easier here. Many insurance providers offer you an option to select several beneficiaries, so it is wise to choose one of them and keep the list up to date.

Plan Your Finances in a Polygamous Relationship Early On to Be Secure and Avoid Conflicts

Remember that polyamory finances are not easy, but it is a topic that you cannot avoid. Therefore, start planning as soon as possible, perhaps starting with financial etiquette in polyamorous dating. This way, you will be sure that you and all your partners are on the same page.

You may also read: Poly Love and Money