How To Come Out As Polyamorous

Apr 26, 10:18 AM | By Chris

How to come out as polyamorous to your parents and partner? You should start by selecting a cozy place and the right time for it. When you finally meet, begin by explaining what polyamory means to you. Listen to what others have to say, but remember – you should feel comfortable with your feelings, and your closest ones should at least try to show you understanding. Do you want to learn more? Then read on!

How to Come Out as Polyamorous to Your Parents?

Let’s start by discussing how to come out as polyamorous to your family. How should you approach this conversation?

• Choose a proper time and place – You need to feel comfortable and private to have this conversation. Our idea here is to invite your parents for a cozy dinner at your house.

• Start with explaining polyamory – Tell your parents what polyamory is in general, and explain how you perceive it. Our tip here: prepare some sources to quote.

• Address the misconceptions – Probably, your parents have a completely distorted image of polyamory, so encourage them to ask questions and dispel the myths.

• Respect their feelings, but stay true to yours – You need to realize that this might be a shock to your parents and have empathy towards them. At the same time, remember that your feelings matter and shouldn’t get hurt during the conversation. Remember – some questions might seem offensive or ignorant to you, but it doesn’t mean that your parents mean to hurt you.

• Give your parents time – They will need to process your coming-out, so give them the time they need. At the same time, tell them that this isn’t just one conversation – it’s a constant dialogue, as you won’t become monogamous overnight.

How to Come Out as Polyamorous to Your Partner?

While with parents, it’s easier (not to say easy – it’s still often emotionally exhausting), this gets more tricky when it comes to your girlfriend or boyfriend. After all, they might feel much more hurt. So, how to come out as polyamorous to your partner?

• Get the timing right – Like with parents, you need to pick a comfy time and place.

• Explain how you value your partner – Initially, your partner might believe that you want to become polyamorous because they are not enough, so make sure to show them how you value them and that they are an important part of your life.

• Tell your partner why you are polyamorous – This way, you can explain your feelings and show what polyamory means to you, addressing misconceptions but also proving the importance of your partner.

• Say how you imagine a polyamorous relationship with your partner – Be honest and tell them what you would like your relationship to look like in the future.

You can get more tips in our article on how to talk to your partner about polyamory.

Our Extra Tips for Your Poly Coming Out

You know how to come out as polyamorous, but we still have a few tips that might help you with this.

• You don’t have to come up if you don’t want to – don’t feel obligated to do it if you feel uncomfortable.

• Start with your closest ones – Begin by telling your family (and partner), then the closest friends. Only later should you come out to your distant relatives or friends, and only if you feel comfortable with it.

• Prepare resources to quote and use – This will help you answer questions and justify your answers.

The Takeaway

Telling your family and partner that you are poly might be stressful. But, now you know how to come out as polyamorous in a diplomatic way, so you don’t have to worry so much. Follow our tips and check out our “Blogs” section – you might find there coming out stories from other poly people in our community!

And if you’re looking for an opportunity to meet romantic partners or meet other people in the community, check out our poly dating app.