Polyamory Relationship Rules to Discuss with Your Partner(s)

Oct 2, 5:35 PM | By Chris

What are the most important rules on polyamory that you need to discuss in your relationship? Namely, consensual agreement, time management, boundaries, open communication, and…safe, intimate practices. In this article, we will look at these rules in more detail, we invite you to read on!

Examples of the Most Important Polyamory Rules

Without any further ado, let’s look at the most crucial rules you need to establish in your polyamorous relationship. Take a look below.

1. Consensual Agreement

Polyamory is all about consent, the rule that all partners should consent to a non-monogamous relationship should be the absolute cornerstone for you and your partners.

2. Time Management

When it comes to time management in polyamory, this can get quite complicated. You need to pay enough attention and spend time with all of your partners (equally or proportionally, depending on the type of your poly relationship). If you don’t do this, you might make your partner(s) feel neglected and/or insecure.

Therefore, you should establish clear rules regarding time management at the beginning of your polyamorous relationship. Remember to include time for yourself, your self-development, and hobbies, having several partners is fun, but that does not mean you should spend all of your time with them!

3. Boundaries

It’s also crucial that you establish clear boundaries at the start of your relationship. After all, your partners might have different poly attachment styles, so what works for one of them might be uncomfortable for the other.

You need to discuss this at the beginning of your relationship and decide on the do’s and don’ts for each of you. This is especially crucial when there is a conflict of interests, namely when one person’s needs would violate the second person’s boundaries, such a discussion will let you come up with a compromise that will make all of you satisfied and comfortable.

4. Open Communication

Why do you need to establish rules regarding open communication? Well, first of all, it will help you resolve conflicts in your poly relationship . But, it’s not just that.

Jealousy and insecurities in polyamory, that’s what makes open communication crucial. These two emotions are bound to appear at some point in your relationships, and the best way to deal with them is to talk them through. Hence, your polyamory rules should include open communication and the ability to talk about anything without being judged.

5. Safe Intimate Practices

Polyamory is different vs. open relationships, you don’t engage with partners outside of your network. Nevertheless, the number of partners may change and will generally be higher than for those who are monogamous. Therefore, it is crucial to establish rules regarding safe, intimate practices.

Thanks to this, you will avoid risk when broadening your network (or even when infidelity is concerned). Thus, discuss this with your partner(s) in advance!

6. People>Relationship

Finally, the last example of a rule you should establish in polyamory is one saying that people are more important than the relationship. Sometimes, you just don’t click; at other times, some conflicts cannot be resolved and divide particular partners in your relationship. In such cases, you should prioritize the well-being of each of your partners (and yours), at times; it might even be better to break up with one of them than to suffer in an unhappy relationship.

Ready to Put These Rules into Practice?

The above examples of rules to discuss in polyamory are the answers to the potential challenges you’ll need to overcome in your relationship. Therefore, it’s best to discuss them right away rather than to end up with a problem escalating to a full-on conflict later on.

Looking for more like-minded people for your poly relationship? Check out our poly dating app!