What’s Love Got To Do With Polyamory

Jan 17 '2019, 2:58 PM | By Chris

A common accusation launched at the myriad of polyamorous people is that they essentially are sexual deviants incapable of loving and being satiated by one monogamous lover. Polyamorous men simply can’t ‘keep it in their pants’. Poly women must have daddy issues. The absurdly uninformed opinions of people opposed to any polyamorous lifestyle can become very cruel very fast. How could you possibly love someone you’re not solely committed to sexually?

It’s human nature to oversimplify ideas in order to reach some understanding even when the understanding reached is completely inaccurate. Love is a broad term that comes in many forms and ‘true love’ is not limited to family connections or monogamous commitments. Love between two people in a polyamorous relationship may or may not involve sexuality at all! The relationships we build with people we love have limitless and deeply personal possibilities.

A woman thats wants to be a sister wife may have very little interest in a sexual relationship with the male core of a polygamist family. She may be relieved that another sister wife satisfies that need. She may also be a lesbian that desires a non-sexual relationship with a male while enjoying a sexual connection to her sister wives. There is simply no box the ideal relationship can be neatly packed into then delivered to every doorstep.

Imagine a woman that enjoys sex immensely but has no interest in a romantic relationship. She can meet one or more partners that share her sex drive as well as her disdain for romance. To the outside world it’s easy to call these sexual partners only ‘friends with benefits’ but that assertion completely disregards the amount of love the partners may have between them. Not everyone is interested in being woo’d into a socially approved romantic situation. This does not equate to a lack of ability to love.

Learning to express and live by your true desires in healthy and honest ways will lead you to true love the way it’s meant to be for you. Respecting the choices and boundaries of everyone around you helps ensure we live in a world where true passion can be followed. Some level of love is present in all personal relationships. Sex is a factor that may not even play a role in our CORE relationships. Sex could also be an exhaustive factor among many polyamorous lovers, which is a beautiful thing. Moral judgments of relationship’s based on sexual inclinations only works to damage the connection between two or more people. Don’t tarnish another’s love with your words.

If a woman wants to be a sister wife, respect her. If a man wants to find sister wives, respect him. If a person wishes to maintain a sexual relationship with 20 partners, respect them. Nobody owes anyone their happiness to ensure we’re conforming to narrow arbitrary standards. What’s love got to do with polyamory? Damn near everything. Sex is just an optional cherry on top.