Poly From A Distance

Mar 29 '2019, 5:11 PM | By Chris

Relationships bring lives together. Individuals that don’t know each other today may be moving across the world to be closer to each other just months from now. When people fall in love the desire to be together can often conquer any obstacle in their way. Polyamorous people could easily have lovers in multiple locations and the strain of distance can be tough on the bond you share with others. Many long distance relationships prove to be too difficult and the people involved end it in order to stop the emotional strain. If splitting up is not an option there are plenty of ways to keep the magic alive.

Polygamist relationships typically involve a family with multiple sister wives and a husband at the core. As a polygamist husband finds more sister wives he’ll run into unique situations and will need to make decisions on how he wants his polygamist family to exist. He may prefer all the sister wives to live under one roof, or, he may prefer that the sister wives live in multiple places. He may find having sister wives in different geographic locations works as well. It’s important that the husband discusses his preferences with the sister wives and forms a family which works for everyone involved. A sister wife might greatly enjoy having him all to herself for a week or month at a time but they must ensure this works for the whole family. Avoid crossing the line of neglecting one sister wife while favoring another.

Sister wives are part of one family even if they live in separate homes or locations. They don’t have to be incredibly close but time does need to be spent developing a relationship with each other. The husband needs to be available to all of his sister wives, when needed, at all times. Video chat or conference calls are great tools to help maintain a family that lives in multiple locations. Communication is key. There is no option of skimping on communication. Full family gatherings should be frequent and fun.

Polyamorous relationships have countless options when it comes to living situations. Living with a husband or wife, or boyfriend or girlfriend, while maintaining another lover in another location is commonplace. Something so simple as a job relocation can lead to living with a boyfriend or girlfriend far from your husband or wife. The relationships you keep and the way you maintain them is entirely up to everyone involved. Again, technology like video chat makes long distance relationships much easier to maintain. Not so long ago the idea of a long distance relationship was nearly fantasy. Frequent communication and being available when you are needed by any of your partners will keep your bonds healthy.

A fun idea for closed polyamorous groups, or even for sister wives, is to consider long distance relationships an opportunity to travel frequently. Having a home in multiple locations is a bonus most people never have access to. It’s exciting to have a love life that provides the opportunity to get away so often and easy. Be careful not to run away from one partner to another over frustrations. Leaving issues unresolved through escapism will lead to bigger problems ahead. If you aren’t able to see a partner that lives far away frequently make sure to bring up issues of importance even if your time together is short. Leaving a lover in the dark is the fastest way to make them feel unloved and disconnected.

Being forward about your feelings and open minded about your partner’s feelings will lead to long, happy, relationships regardless of geographic circumstances. It’s very easy to feel isolated when you can’t be with the people you love. Sister wives or polyamorous lovers need to know the signs of problems and find ways to address them. Knowing the one you love is with another lover can feel unbearable. Polyamory requires one to control jealous feelings as jealousy is inevitable. Don’t be afraid to discuss the issue but never approach it from a negative or angry position. A sister wife has to accept that her husband will be with her other sister wives, and not her, sometimes. A polyamorous person has to accept that their lover will be with other lovers sometimes, and not them, regardless of the location. Lean on each other, and support each other, to get through the difficult moments. Never forget that even when your partner is with another lover, they miss you too.

Ideally, geographic location would have little effect on the bond two polyamorous people share, but, the world is often less than ideal. No amount of communication can resolve the feeling of longing for some people and not seeing your lover for a month is simply not an option. Sometimes a long distance relationship is a nonstarter and that’s okay. Limiting relationships this way is a bit sad but an acceptable reality. When you are seeking a sister wife or dating in the world of polyamory it’s important to discuss possibilities like long distance situations. It’s important for a man to tell potential sister wives up front about the family life he wants to build. It’s important that potential partners are aware you’ll be away with another lover occasionally. It’s only fair to be up front about it. It boils back down to communication, love, and understanding.