4 Questions to Help Find Your Poly Groove

Jul 22 '2019, 5:20 PM | By Chris

One amazing thing about humans is that we are all unique. You may find people with a lot in common, but barring an insanely identical twin, you are different in plenty of ways. Being the only you is an amazing thing. The contributions you offer to people around you, along with everything they bring to the table, can create a life that’s rewarding and full of pure bliss. If you’re fortunate enough to have an interest in the polyamorous or polygamous life you are probably pretty well in tune with your unique self. However, even the most confident among us should ask ourselves a few questions once in a while to make sure we’re on the right path. Here are four questions to consider that will help you find and maintain your poly groove.

What does your perfect life look like?

Keep in mind that part of life is accepting realities that cannot be changed and making reasonable compromises in order to achieve a functional existence. That being said, there is nothing wrong with dreaming about perfection. Taking time to consider the things that would make your life feel the most complete will help with staying on the right track. Polygamy Dating or polyamorous dating are both complicated processes that you’ll need to know yourself well to navigate. A woman that wants to be a sister wife shouldn’t date a polyamorous person with no interest in building a family or committing to a relationship. A man that wants sister wives should make that clear to women he approaches for dates. Having an idea of your end goals, and sharing them freely, makes sure the people you pursue have similar desires in mind.

What are your true main priorities?

It’s worth repeating that in life you will have to make compromises. Harsh realities cannot be avoided, however, there are concessions you should never accept. Beyond the idea of what you imagine to be your perfect life are key elements that make you the person you are. A person that knows they are a polygamist at heart should not attempt to entertain a monogamous marriage. Even though you may find great success in committing to the concept of ‘one man with one woman’ there will always be a part of you longing for more. If you know you’re incapable of committing to any relationship at all there are ways for you to date, and enjoy a love life, without hurting someone you claim to love. Accepting your real self and embracing the core elements that make you you, without compromise, will save you and people you care about a lot of time and trouble. There is no recipe for basic morality greater than honesty, integrity, and causing no harm. You can rest assured that you will find others like yourself, and can lead a very happy life, no matter what drives your sexual and emotional desires.

What are your red flags?

You can be cruising along enjoying dates with other polygamists or poly people and fail to see red flags if you haven’t thought ahead about them. One ill-conceived relationship can ruin your poly dating life, or life overall, for indefinite amounts of time. Knowing your red flags and how to spot them is crucial to protecting yourself from life leeches or desperate people that will say or do anything for a relationship. Figure out the questions and topics that need to come up while dating in order for you to gauge people. Testing for red flags should happen as soon as possible with every new person you meet. It’s much easier to end involvement with someone early rather than when feelings have had time to develop. Don’t be desperate. Your body, mind, and soul, and maybe even your bank account, will thank you for avoiding relationship disasters. Sorry, red flags fall under the ‘no compromise’ category.

What improvements can you make for yourself?

Being good to ourselves and finding ways to be the best person you can be should always come first. Wanting to love others and build lives with them is a wonderful thing, but making sure you have enough to offer is the first step. This isn’t referring to being wealthy or perfect in any way. It’s about knowing who you are so you’re aware of what you bring to the table. What talents can you develop? What activities get you excited? What subjects can you dive into that motivate your mind to learn and grow? Being a whole and self aware person needs to be the first goal for anyone interested in polygamy dating, or any polymorous way of life. Becoming a sister wife is not as easy as 1, 2, 3. There will be tough moments and you’ll face some vicious opposition that will require a strong mind and sense of self. A poly or polygamous man will face some especially harsh criticism. Accusations of being a womanizer, or of having an inability to commit and be a good man, don’t fall easy on the ears. You don’t work on yourself just to find a relationship. You do it to prepare yourself to find good relationships and maximize your contributions to them no matter what adversity you might face.

Whether you’re looking for a new sister wife to join your family, a woman or husband to start a polygamous family, people to join or begin a loving polyamorous group or family, or just to get out and go on dates it’s important to be your best self and know what you’re looking for. Mulling over these four questions from time to time will guide you to a better dating and love life. It sounds weird, maybe selfish, to believe working on yourself is more important than working on your relationships but it’s absolutely true. You can’t be good to someone else if you don’t even know who you are or what you really want. Sure, you can get by and maybe even maintain a love life, but you won’t thrive. Being polyamorous reveals a desire to thrive. A desire for a big polygamous family shows you’re a person that wants more than a mundane existence. Take a little time to look inside and your focus will adjust for a clearer view outside too. Don’t let anyone mess with your poly groove.