Poly Love and the Power of Intent

Sep 9 '2019, 12:36 PM | By Chris

Living with intent has been a popular buzz phrase lately. It means to do everything to the best of your ability and on purpose. Taking control of your life like this is not always easy, but it leads to a life you actually wanted rather than a life dealt to you by random circumstances. Within a relationship intent can benefit you in two ways. Not only can you create the relationship you truly desire, you can also more easily translate the actions of your lovers. When approaching living with intent one shouldn’t neglect to consider the intents of others. The ability to spot someone with ill intent toward you, or a person that has none of your best interests in mind, will save you from heaps of trouble. When you have multiple romantic partners, or members of your poly group or family, intent can be a little complicated at times. Here are some ways to keep yourself and your loved ones on the right track.

Rejecting thougthless behavior is one of the most basic rules when dealing with anyone, lover or not. Treating others as you’d like to be treated is not a new concept. It’s one of the most enduring methods to build a better life we know. When you’re dating a potential new polyamorous lover, or dating a potential sister wife to join your polygamous family, it’s best to avoid anyone that seems to dismiss this golden rule. Yes, the catty comments or funny antics of someone with little consideration for others can be entertaining, but consider this behavior in a long term situation. Does this person truly have ill intentions or lack empathy? If they really are so apathetic, or selfish, one could never expect them to be a reliable partner or benefit to a family. Spotting this type will keep you from bad situations and further you along the path of living a happy life.

Making it a point to avoid laziness every day is another way to live a life full of purpose. We all have those days we know absolutely nothing is going to get done. It’s human. Purposely minimizing those days will keep you much happier in life. Think about it. Those days are usually a result of questionable behavior. Drinking too much, staying up too late, not eating well, or spending too much energy on things that serve too small of a purpose. Wasting time leads to exponentially wasting more time. This all can lead to something far worse than just some unhappy days, it can eventually lead to depression. Polyamorous and polygamous people have a special advantage in having multiple partners to turn to for help. Never shy away from a conversation about wanting to find more purpose, or living with more intent, from a lover. Also don’t be too shy to discuss this with lovers about yourself. They can help you discover purpose, or maybe even join you on an endeavor that will give you both even more in life to share.

The entire point of dating, whether its polygamy dating, poly dating, monogamous dating, or whatever you choose, is to seek more from life through a relationship with other people. Consider how unfortunate it can be when a person dates with no intent beyond finding anyone that will take them. This is why knowing ourselves, and being clear about our intentions, is so important. Too many people are marrying whomever makes them feel good rather than considering all of the forces that are bringing them together. Is this person helping you blossom in your career or are they getting your bills paid? Do they make your parents happy, or do they make you happy? It’s very easy to take the easy routes in life, but it also, most often, leads to a life of trouble finding your own purpose and voice. For existing couples or families it’s equally important to avoid these people. Don’t bring a woman into your family just because she wants to be a sister wife. Bring her in because she will make a great sister wife and will be a benefit to the family. It sounds a little crude, but in the long run it’s better for you and her both. Same goes for any poly groups or families. Watch out for people that are serving the wrong interests in their own life.

Once your family or group are moving along nicely and everyone is living with the best intents they know of at their respective points in life, it’s important to focus on maintenance. People change, relationships evolve, and regular maintenance is not a thing to ignore. Waiting for a disaster instead of preventive care is never a good idea. It’s like waiting until the dishes are piled to the ceiling instead of cleaning as you go. You’ll want to just sell the house instead of all that cleaning. Keeping up with each others personal lives and monitoring each other a little can help everyone keep evolving in healthy ways. If you notice a sister wife or partner making the couch the center of their life maybe come up with a project you can both work on. Sometimes you can pull someone out of a slump without going into details they are processing in their own minds by just getting them to join you for something else. You could also annoy them, so be gentle. However, if a partner or sister wife starts to push everyone away, it’s time for some tough love. Inconsiderate and careless behavior can’t be accepted in any long term sense. Once a person starts showing you they have no good intentions with you, there are few choices. They can either get themselves back into a better mindset or they need to be on their way. The same goes for you. You don’t have to love everyone or everything all the time, but once you have nothing good to offer you need to figure out a different path in life. Good will and good intentions work hand in hand and are the result of a person making an effort to be their best.

It’s far too easy to get in a slump. When all of your good efforts seem to be going nowhere it’s easy to assume nothing is worth it. Relationships that only fill a hole are easy to find and too many people seem content living in the private little hell they’ve built. When you commit to living with intent, and to helping your lovers do the same, you’ll find how easy it really can be. The imperfections in life become smaller, disappointment becomes a little speed bump, and your lovers can grow closer. Having a polygamous family, or polyamorous group, to lean on makes a life with purpose so much easier to attain it would be silly not to try. Keep your thoughts positive and pure, your actions full of purpose, and you’ll find the entire world around you will become a brighter place for you and all your loves to enjoy.