Polyamory as the Social Norm

Oct 9 '2019, 11:40 AM | By Chris

Imagine a world where plural marriage or relationships are the social norm. Families would consist of multiple people in every household, relationships could be more free to evolve, loneliness would decrease, and even sacrifices made for love would become far less daunting. When considering all of the benefits of a polyamorous lifestyle it’s hard to imagine how it has not been a social norm for centuries already. With a move toward more general acceptance in recent years, polyamory may soon see the day it becomes the standard and the world can be a happier, more fulfilling, place. Monogamy may soon be viewed for what it is. It’s more a form of power plays and control than it is a form of true love.

The story is all too common. Young boy meets young girl, they fall madly in love, and marriage seems like the logical next step. Monogamous marriage is currently the only socially acceptable way for two people to make their relationship official. Time goes by and the boy and girl become a man and a woman. They don’t hate each other but cannot help feeling like something in life is missing. This feeling builds and builds until they start blaming each other for the things they feel they lack in life. Resentment sets in and their love transforms into indifference, possibly hate, if they do nothing to stop the downhill slide. Divorce becomes the seemingly logical option and the painful process of separating years of a life together begins. Why do people continue doing this to themselves? Why are other options out of the question for so many people?

Imagine the same scenario but in a world where polyamory is the expectation. Marriage still exists but it does not carry the weight of monogamy. This same man and woman could decide to find a sister wife or might meet another couple they could date together. They might form a polygamous family and enjoy a big home full of sister wives or they may simply just date other people together occasionally. The option of dating others separately is also on the table for some. The point is, feeling trapped with one person due to a legal contract isn’t love, it’s control. Control works for a little while. It helps a person feel they can accomplish things because they know what to expect. The problem is that you can’t truly control another person. Attempting to do so leads to misery on both ends. The thought of keeping a husband or wife in your life because leaving you would be difficult for them to accomplish should make you sick to your stomach. Unfortunately, we’ve been conditioned to believe trapping someone in your life is appropriate and good. Polyamory is the answer to this absurdity.

Polyamory is empowering. It frees people to seek the meaningful relationships they truly desire. It allows people to find true fulfillment and happiness. Humans love connecting to each other, which polyamory allows us to do indefinitely. The fact that a married woman is viewed critically for going to lunch with a man that is not her husband is proof that monogamy seeks only to control people. When something so basic as a friendship is frowned upon due to a person’s marital status you can rest assured that the current rules of marriage have few altruistic intents. Nothing can compete with the ability to live honestly with the people you love. Why would you want to participate in a monogamous lifestyle when it breeds so much deceit?

It’s important to remember that being polyamorous or polygamous does not mean one lacks the ability to commit. It does not mean people are being selfish or greedy either. It’s simply agreeing to the fact that monogamy is not natural for humans, and it’s opening up to forming relationships that reflect the deeper connections humans can have with multiple people. It’s accepting that just because your partner got wrapped up in a moment and shared a kiss with someone else, it doesn’t mean they don’t love you deeply. Opening the door to allow for and share these experiences with each other should help you grow closer, instead of driving you apart. Giving your lovers the ability to live their life with real intent gives them the space to truly know themselves and the ability to give even more to the relationship. One could argue that monogamy hardly represents true love at all. It’s essentially a business agreement in many cases.

Anyone that has any inkling of interest in polygamy or polyamory should explore the option without question. If you’ve had any fantasy of becoming a sister wife or dating a couple, try it. As long as you find people that actually suit you, chances are you will find happiness and fulfillment like you thought might be impossible. The more people the better. Power in numbers means polyamorous and polygamous people should be recruiting others to explore the idea. Of course, the poly life isn’t for everyone, but the number of lives and marriages that can be saved by polyamory is staggering. Throwing down the shackles of traditional marriage is the answer to so many problems in so many lives and there are plenty of online resources to explore poly and polygamy dating that allow for you to take your time. Making polyamory a normal and widely accepted option will only make the world a better place for us all.