Thom Miller: Pastor marries pregnant girlfriend with consent of his wife

Aug 31 '2018, 3:55 PM | By Chris

A Pastor’s Path to Polygamy: One Man’s Unconventional Family and Their Fight for Recognition

Sixty-year-old Thom Miller, a pastor in Mansfield, Ohio, found himself at the center of controversy after marrying his pregnant teenage girlfriend while still married to and living with his first wife. Far from a secret tryst, this arrangement has the blessing of all parties involved, including wife number one, 44-year-old Belinda Miller.

The story began nearly a decade ago, when Thom met Belinda, then a mother of seven from a previous relationship. Their connection deepened through faith, family values, and a shared vision of forming a large, supportive household. Over time, Belinda found herself contemplating polygamy, an idea she mentioned to Thom in passing. Although polygamy is illegal in every U.S. state, the couple saw it as an expression of their religious beliefs and a way to build what they call a “complete family.”

Meeting Reba

Nineteen-year-old Reba Kerfootruba was not a stranger. Thom had known Reba’s family for years; he recalled her as a young girl before she moved away from Mansfield. The two reconnected when Reba visited Thom’s church as a volunteer. Something shifted during that meeting. Thom remembers her warm embrace was unlike any friendly hug he had received before. In that moment, he says, he recognized romantic feelings he had not anticipated.

“When she hugged me, it wasn’t a normal hug,” Thom explained. “I wanted to keep hugging her, and I realized, wow, I’m really appreciating this woman.”

It did not take long for Reba to move into the Millers’ household. Belinda grew fond of her immediately. “I wanted to have more of a family; I wanted it to feel complete,” she explained. “Having another lady in the house is a beautiful thing. It’s like having a sister, and it enriches our family life.”

A Three-Way Marriage

Just seven years after Thom wed Belinda in their church, the trio arranged another ceremony in the same place, this time uniting Thom and Reba as husband and wife. The relationship structure is polygynous, with one husband and two wives. All three state that their faith supports the arrangement, pointing out that there are scriptural examples of plural marriages in religious texts, even though mainstream Christianity widely discourages it today.

However, their union is not recognized under Ohio law, or federal law, for that matter. With same-sex marriage now legal throughout the United States, Thom wonders why his own plural marriage remains beyond the bounds of official acceptance.

“I have no problem with homosexuals,” he clarified. “But I think it’s wrong that their marriage is now recognized by the state, while my second marriage is not. This is America, and my wives and I should have the right to live any way we please, provided we’re not hurting anybody.”

Community and Family Reactions

When Reba’s relatives first learned of the unconventional arrangement, they disapproved. “At first, my family thought that what we were doing was not right because of him being married already,” she recalled. Yet, as they saw that she was happy and secure, her family gradually grew more supportive.

To date, Thom, Belinda, and Reba say they have experienced a wide range of reactions from both their local community and online audiences. Some people express curiosity, others show disapproval, and a few outright condemn their lifestyle as immoral. Nevertheless, the Millers maintain that their faith-led approach to family, complete with shared spiritual practices, communal chores, and open communication, offers them stability and love.

The New Addition

At the heart of the public fascination is Reba’s pregnancy. The trio plan to raise the baby together, with Reba and Belinda sharing maternal duties. “The baby will have two moms, which I’m okay with,” Reba said. Thom believes this expanded, cooperative parenting style will strengthen the family’s bond.

Behind closed doors, the arrangement is less unconventional than some might think. Thom alternates sharing his bedroom with each wife on different nights, a schedule all three agreed upon. “Thom is the love of my life, and Reba is the blessing of my life,” Belinda said. “So it all works.”

From Enforcer to Pastor

Thom’s spiritual journey is particularly remarkable. Years ago, he was a mafia enforcer, an occupation he now freely admits. A bar fight that ended in a stabbing led to a seven-year prison sentence, during which Thom discovered the Bible. He credits his religious conversion in prison for turning his life around completely and inspiring him to become a pastor upon release.

Now, as he stands at the head of a growing family and a congregation that looks to him for guidance, Thom’s path has taken an unusual turn.

Polygamy in America: A Brief Context

Polygamy is illegal throughout the United States, with many tracing the legal ban back to the 19th century, when it primarily targeted Mormon communities in Utah. Today, most polygamous relationships remain underground due to legal ramifications. However, there have been modern movements, especially following the 2015 Supreme Court decision legalizing same-sex marriage, arguing that consenting adults in polyamorous or polygamous relationships should have the same rights as other couples.

Critics warn that legitimizing polygamy could lead to exploitative practices, particularly if younger partners feel pressured or are not free to consent. Advocates counter that stigma and secrecy cause more harm, and that creating a legal framework would provide protection and oversight.

Looking Ahead

As Thom pushes for legal recognition of his second marriage, he highlights a broader question currently debated in both religious and legal circles: Should consenting adults be free to form multiple-adult marriages, and, if so, should the government grant them the same legal protections and responsibilities that come with monogamous marriage?
For now, though, the Miller household is focused on building their life together, preparing for a new baby, juggling household chores, and navigating the persistent curiosity of their neighbors. In their view, love, faith, and mutual respect form the bedrock of a family, regardless of how many partners share it.

“I may be walking a path that’s unfamiliar to most people,” Thom said. “But I’ve never felt more guided by faith, and I’ve never felt more at peace.”

You can watch a segment featuring Thom, Belinda, and Reba on Barcroft TV.