User blogs

Where Can a Couple Seeking a Sister Wife Go?

Sister wives aren’t really a common subject for discussion for people outside of the polygamous scene, but thanks to various TV reality-shows and an expanding internet database, they have started to become more accepted as a phenomenon. Although the idea of having more than one wife might tempt some, when seeking a sister wife, one should understand that even though it might be a less than traditional arrangement, certain rules still apply. That is why one is recommended to do some serious research about what it means to have more than one wife and how to handle such a relationship.

What Are Sister Wives?

For most people involved in traditional marriages, the idea of multiple spouses might seem ridiculous, weird or even shameful to even discus. They might think that being in a monogamous relationship is the only way things should be done and any kind of alternative to this lifestyle is wrong. But what is for some normal might not mean the same thing for somebody else. Thinking back to the old days, arranged marriages were considered normal back then and parents deciding their children faiths since birth was widely accepted. In some parts of the world this is still the norm. But normality is relative to the individual and his background, and that is why judging somebody for doing things differently isn’t always the best course of action.

For instance, sister wives might seem like a difficult concept for many people to wrap their head around, but for others it makes perfect sense. In the world of polygamy this is a normal thing. It refers to at least two women sharing the same husband and acting as if they are sisters. There is nothing sordid or unnatural about it. Although it might offend some people and go against some civil laws that doesn’t mean that the act itself is bad by nature.

Sharing the same husband, and even the same household, has been a common happening in many cultures around the world. The man would marry multiple wives and even have children with more than one of them. The views would take care of the household together and even raise their children together. This was their “normal”. They would behave as any other family and the husband would take care to give each wife the same amount of attention.

Common Misconceptions About Sister Wives

One of the biggest misconceptions about a polygamous relationship is that it is nothing more than accepted cheating. Some might argue that as soon as there are more than two partners in a relationship, that relationship seizes to exist because there is nothing intimate anymore. This is not the case with polyamorous relations and especially with marriages with multiple spouses. All the people involved in such a relationship are consenting adults that understand that they need to communicate and share their love and affection for one another. Although the relationship usually involves sexual relations with multiple partners, that doesn’t mean that the people involved are cheating on one another.

Another myth about marriages involving more than two partners is that they usually break the family apart and end in divorce. Although some of these marriages does end in divorce, that isn’t a rule. Traditional marriages end in divorce as well, and usually even more frequently than polygamous ones. Whatever reasons people might have to enter or exit a relationship don’t necessarily have something to do with the nature of the relationship. Firstly, nobody is forcing anyone else to enter that relationship in the first place. Secondly, divorcing someone doesn’t necessarily mean that you cannot continue to have a relation with that person.

When people decide to get involved in polyamorous relations they usually do so after careful consideration and extensive talks with their partners. The whole idea of bringing other people into a relationship is to improve one another through shared experiences and to have somebody to help you and be beside you when need be. Aside from the sexual part of the relation, polyamorous relations are about communication, being open minded and trying to improve your understanding of others.

What to Know When Seeking A Sister Wife?

Anybody who is seeking a sister wife should understand couple of things before they rush to the altar. Firstly, anybody looking to bring another woman into a relationship should know that some major adjustments have to be made. A second wife isn’t just a live-in friend for your first wife, or a permission slip to have sex with somebody else. It means that you truly understand one another, are accepting of all your qualities and flaws and agree on sharing whatever life might throw at you. Bringing another woman into a marriage is a subject that should be discussed at length with your partner and everybody should understand what is about to happen.        

Another thing that is very important to understand when talking about multiple wives is that finding one isn’t as simple as placing an ad in a paper. Polygamy already has a sort of a bad reputation with the more traditionalistic crowd. You might need to do a bit of searching before you find somebody that wants the same things as you do. But, as in any marriage, finding your second significant other takes time and patience.

Where to Go When Seeking A Sister Wife?

Although the alternative lifestyle scene has been getting more and more mainstream acceptance, it isn’t really there yet. People still need some help if they want to meet like-minded men and women. Luckily for them, there are people working on providing them with the necessary tools to do so. People like the ones over at sisterwives.com, which are building a dedicated platform in order to build and bring together a community of people looking for something different. Just as Tinder or other dating apps, people that practice an alternative lifestyle have their options when it comes to meeting others just like them.

For the ones that prefer a more traditional approach to finding another “ball and chain” there are always the well-known meeting grounds. Special clubs or other meeting spots that are dedicated to enabling people to come together, without having to be in the public eye, and indulge in their passions.

Published By: Christopher Alesich & Robyn Alesich 

Matchmakers, Inc: Sisterwives.com 

The growing dating/marriage crisis within the LDS church is no secret; church leaders have been trying to figure out what to do about it, the single women and men in the church are suffering because of it, and even secular sociologists have taken notice (for example see time.com/dateonomics . No longer are LDS women being deprived of marriage solely because LDS men are “slacking” in their duty to find a wife and have a family; the solution is no longer as simple as exhorting more LDS men to marry. It is much more insidious yet mundane – it is a simple math problem. 

Currently within the LDS church, there are more than 3 single women for every 2 single men. This means that if every single LDS man married a single LDS woman, there would still be 1/3rd of the single LDS women left over. One third. Let that sink in for a moment.

This is actually a very predictable consequence within any conservative institutionalized group which encourages members to marry within the group and have large families. When there’s a positive birth rate there will be slightly more 19 yr olds than 20 yr olds, slightly more 24 yr olds than 25 yrs olds, etc. Historically (perhaps even biologically), women on average tend to marry older men and men on average tend to marry younger women; the gap is usually about 4 years. Therefore a 24 yr old man will statistically be more likely to marry a 20 yr old woman compared with a woman his own age, and a 23 yr old woman is statistically more likely to marry a 27 yr old man than a man her own age. The result? If a woman hasn’t married by the age of approximately 25-30, her prospects of finding a husband are disproportionately lower compared with the odds that a man the same age will be able to find a wife. 

Bottom line: for a moment, let’s ignore the trend that more LDS men leave the church in adulthood than women; let’s ignore that more LDS men marry outside the church than women, that on average more LDS men delay marriage than women, the possibility that LDS men on average are “less valiant” as a group than LDS women, or any other potential contributing factors – even if we set aside all of that, we can STILL expect to see this disparity between single men and women due to simple math and economics.

This dating/marriage crisis within the LDS church has reached the point of being essentially irreversible. This is why more and more LDS leaders are promising faithful women that even if they don’t have an opportunity to be a wife/mother in this life, they can still lead a happy and productive life and look forward to having those opportunities in the next. While somewhat true, this is a very inadequate “solution” to the people affected so deeply.

Interestingly, another conservative group that noticed a similar trend (Hasidic Judaism) handled it with arranged marriages, and having men and women marry peers of their same age (20 yr old men marry 20 yr old women, 24 yr old men marry 24 yr old women, etc.). This could be a viable solution moving forward if it were institutionally enforced – for future marriage/family relationships; however, in the meantime, there is a huge group of single women that would still not have their needs taken care of. If only there was another option….

The elephant in the room is that there is a solution that doesn’t take a whole lot of imagination considering the historical precedents and doctrinal foundations of Mormonism/LDS theology. What if all single women in the church were to have their marriage prospects immediately expanded to include not just the single LDS men, but also the faithful, married LDS men? Voluntary associations between consenting adults such as this could certainly provide the opportunities for marriage and child bearing that are desired by so many LDS women, who will statistically never have such opportunities otherwise.

I would not encourage the LDS leadership to get involved in arranging marriages etc. as sometimes happened in the early days – too easy to exercise unrighteous dominion and violate agency. However, to remove the severe penalties currently enforced (note: LDS people choose to practice polygyny today are immediately excommunicated as a rule according to the policy in Handbook 1) and allow the biblical principles (ironically, those restored and practiced by Joseph Smith himself) including polygyny to again be accepted by the church, this would result in a grand reunion between the mainstream LDS church and so many fundamentalist break off groups. It would provide the opportunity for people to live according to God’s inspiration and revelation in their marital relationships, a climate which has been absent since 1890. Removing the stigma against polygyny – by removing the extreme penalties enforced by LDS policy currently in place – would be a huge step in the right direction for all of Mormonism/Restorationism.

Being true to who you really are might mean that you are not meant to be in a monogamous relationship, which can be quite frightening at first. However, when you realize that you can always try Polygamy Dating, the situation becomes a bit easier to handle. The most important question that you need to ask yourself in this case is regarding meeting new people: where can you even start looking for another partner?

In this specific aspect, you could say that dating multiple people can be quite complicated because you never know how and when you can bring up this specific status of your relationship. Some might be ok with you meeting others and even spending time with them, while some individuals prefer to have you for themselves. The problem is that the situation can become challenging pretty fast if you are not honest from the beginning.

But how can you get things to be simple from the get go? Well, you sign up on a website where you will find only people who are into polygamy. You could say that this is one of the best ways of getting this major issue out of the picture. When talking to people that are alright with multiple partner dating, you can skip this step and go straight to the fun part.

You can rely on our website to help you find the best matches and groups where you can actually meet people who share your interests. To ensure that you are always up to date with the latest possible matches or even notifications from individuals that have contacted you, consider downloading our dating app. See for yourself how simple it can be to begin dating more people at once with a few simple clicks! Sign up and complete your profile first!