How Does A Poly Family Really Work? from michaelk's blog

Dear Friends, If you are interested in poly, you might wonder how everything actually works out. There is a lot of theory out there and many people have opinions, but what is it really like to live it day by day? 

The truth is, most of the time poly families are pretty much like extended or blended families you might find through divorces, except the people get along and love each other.  Multiple women share the house work (if you are in one home) and birth parents have the primary responsibility to care for and discipline children. Moreover, some stay home and some work out.  Usually the man is the main bread winner with some or all of the girls holding down full or part time jobs. 

The main things that comes into play that are different are sleeping arrangements - it works best if each woman has a set day.  What goes on during the mornings is open for whomever wants, but having a set time does bring some order and gives the woman a sense of security. 

If everyone gets along, date nights or vacations can be done together.  However, often times the wives desire some alone time with their husband while the other girls hold down the fort. All in all, a lot of "living poly" boils down to common sense and a desire for everyone to work together for the common good. 

One thing that a man needs to do is be as fair as possible so that each woman has the perception that she is being considered and cared for.  Sometimes this does not work out, but most women understand that if a man is making an good faith effort, perfection in that area isn't required. 

In the end, promoting a sense of family and "we're all in this together" is essential.  If everyone is on board, most of the details will work themselves out. In our family, since we are spiritual filled, christian believers, we try to practice God's Love towards each other.  It is His love from above that is part of the Tabernacle Experience.  This way, it is not just us doing the loving, but God loving each other through us. 

Big hugs and lots of love,

Michael