Practicalities from michaelk's blog

Dear Friends,

When we first began our journey into plural marriage, it seemed so mysterious.  Coming from a Pentecostal background, you can imagine that we never came in contact with such a life style.  Surprisingly, it was the practicalities that were the most difficult to manage. 

What I have found is that each woman needs a certain amount of space.  If at all possible, they need their own bedroom and their own bathroom.  They can share, but never seem to like doing so.  I thought at first, since they share a man, they would be willing to share everything else.  However, that is not how our experience has gone. 

For me, having everyone close is advantageous.  I've done separate houses, but that is just a lot of work and travel.  So, we've come to a compromise: I have everyone in a big enough house that they have their own spaces.  I understand that that is not always possible, but I can tell you, at least for us, it has proved to be easier to live with. 

Another thing, which seems obvious when you think of it, is that each woman should be encouraged to do what they do best.  Everything, contrary to what people might assume in such a situation, is not same-same.  People are just different, and it is wise to encourage each woman to excel in what they do best.  While there needs to be some equitable division of chores and other responsibilities, some women love to cook more than others, while some like laundry better. 

In the end, no matter what persuasion you are from, it comes down to practical matters that allow many people to live in harmony together.  I cannot be a top down control, but rather a grass roots realization that we all work for the good of our family.  When the women all believe that loving one another and helping where they can help best is a great idea, everything works out pretty well.

Big hugs and lots of love,

Michael