These are hints people...pay attention from Familyfocused's blog

There are fakes that the admins kick fairly quickly but then there are those that fly under the radar for a day or two.

You should start watching the signs so you don't get played or just plain disappointed.

* Messaged you out of nowhere but never looked at your profile

* Has just created the ad today but has several new "friends" all within just a few minutes

* Profile details don't remotely match photo. My favorite was the pale blond blue eyed native American from Nigeria

-feel free to add other obvious signs

Stop being suckered.

If you stop being an easy mark to these leeches then maybe it will cease to be such a target. At very minimum, you will not feel like a prize dumba** for getting played.

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Comments

Oct 11 '2022, 3:55 PM

Familyfocused

I would have thought the fishing for males and couples would be by far the most lucrative for the scammers but it makes sense that there are attempts to prey on the women as well. Seems weird though from the couples point of view gi en that the normal dating site thing where women have the perceived higher market value seems as if it is magnified here. I get it...they are used to being chased and they are thin on the ground. The unfortunate thing that I don't know that lots have thought through is that a real match for them in a couple who is sincerely looking for plural marriage and not some lumpheaded polyamory/swinger stuff is going to be every bit as hard to find as a good single match is for couples.I would have thought the fishing for males and couples would be by far the most lucrative for the scammers but it makes sense that there are attempts to prey on the women as well. Seems weird though f...See more

Oct 12 '2022, 10:15 AM

Familyfocused

I don't think y'all have it easy. I do like that list though. Hand up as the conspiracy theorist, except I tend to style it as a spoiler alert since so far I am hitting all home runs. I am not entirely sure how to get past the bit with rudeness...cause trust me it is so prevalent on both sides. Yeah, the people who will not take a polite thank you but not interested or words to that effect do suck...by the same token when you seem to match on every potential metric (not enough here for my tastes) and you shoot off a polite introduction/conversation starter but never hear a reply. That sucks too. It gets frustrating to be honest. To give some perspective from this side, about 1 in 6 or seven will ever bother to view the profile. Out of those you might get a reply more or less 1 in 10. On a personal level, I would be happy to receive a thanks but not interested or I don't think we are a match. I make a big point of saying outright a few things about myself and our families positions that might not be popular with a lot of women. If any of us are going to have a shot at achieving our goals it will be via honesty and candor about who we are as real people. So, I definitely get your point about the rude people, unrealistic goals and flat kooks...I am not sure what we can do at a broader level than for us to all have the personal integrity to be the good, honest and forthright people that the sort of person we seek has in mind. I do know that the admin could do us a service of putting the discussion forums back. That way women and couples have the opportunity to have conversations like this one and give the group as a whole a bit more to go on when it comes to the character behind the profile. I do have a question from the women's point of view for you @polywifen , why do so many of the women's profiles not say effectively anything? I get not everyone is going to go on like I do but it seems like most are effectively blank. I don't get it.I don't think y'all have it easy. I do like that list though. Hand up as the conspiracy theorist, except I tend to style it as a spoiler alert since so far I am hitting all home runs. I am not entirel...See more

Oct 12 '2022, 3:31 PM

Familyfocused

Yeah...would be cool to get the forum back

Oct 12 '2022, 3:36 PM

Familyfocused

*cough cough @Chris .

Oct 12 '2022, 3:37 PM

Familyfocused

Its funny...one of my lady friends on here...not someone I/we are courting, I asked her to critique my profile from the single woman point of view. It boiled down to geez man it is So long. I suppose she is right so I whittled it down to less than half. I just figure that a decent match will have a decent attention span and women I talk to for a week who don't know any of the basic details I am up front about are likely not a match.Its funny...one of my lady friends on here...not someone I/we are courting, I asked her to critique my profile from the single woman point of view. It boiled down to geez man it is So long. I suppose ...See more

Oct 12 '2022, 3:39 PM

Familyfocused

In re sailing by on looks...can't recommend it. Sounds shallow temporary and honestly a little boring. Yeah I like pretty girls as much as any guy but pretty sure won't make for a happy marriage

Oct 18 '2022, 11:50 AM

Familyfocused

Hand waggle...I am one of those with respect to no pic of her. Plural marriage is still seen as a niche sort of relationship and there are creepers and weirdos who have previously shown up in this sort of space to try harassing irl pligs and wannabe pligs. So if anyone should catch flack then I prefer it be me rather than her. This is why I make a sharp point in my profile of saying that confirmation of who one is ie not using pics off the internet etc will be needed once the mutual interest has been established. Just getting on a video call sort of thing. Besides, in our case I am the ugly one. If a woman can come to find my mug palettable then she has nothing to worry about with my wife. The general point about lots of the couples on here acting weird is pretty accurate from what I have seen and heard from women on here. Part of why I make the blog posts about caution. I mainly see the accounts of single women but the post is doing what I had hopped and attracting other points of view as well. If only there were still a discussion forum on the site. Then lots more of us with good will and honest motives might be able to support each others searches and get conversations going that get us noticed.Hand waggle...I am one of those with respect to no pic of her. Plural marriage is still seen as a niche sort of relationship and there are creepers and weirdos who have previously shown up in this sor...See more

Oct 18 '2022, 11:57 AM

Familyfocused

The point about her not being on board...I should have addressed that comment because that is Huge here. There are guys who have some sort of...fantasy? LARP? I don't know what to call it but who will either not be married at all or who have not discussed the idea with their wives much less have her on board. I have heard about that crap regularly. Occasionally guys pretending to be single women as well. Definitely confirm that the wife not only exists but is on board...making sure you get the opportunity to talk to her as just the two of you. There are loads of stories of women getting interested in tje couple and the wife sabotaging the relationship because she really doesn't want plural marriage. So talk to her without him and get a real vibe check going. Even if she is fine with it and y'all don't click, things will be rocky.The point about her not being on board...I should have addressed that comment because that is Huge here. There are guys who have some sort of...fantasy? LARP? I don't know what to call it but who will...See more

Oct 18 '2022, 11:24 PM

Familyfocused

It is amazing just how far some will take their...game? Not sure what is in their mind. I won't get invested till we meet in person. I would be a bit discouraged save for the fact that I have lived plural marriage. When things were good they were very good. Very good for all of us and potential for a big happy familyIt is amazing just how far some will take their...game? Not sure what is in their mind. I won't get invested till we meet in person. I would be a bit discouraged save for the fact that I have lived pl...See more

Oct 20 '2022, 7:51 PM

Familyfocused

Poor segue. Anytime a woman is showing enough interest in us as a family...I break that out as it is a family equation and not going to work if they are just into me...I make a point of having my wife read all the messages back and forth. I tell women that I share everything at the beginning of the conversation naturally. Full disclosure. No secrets. Anyway, if she is into us I will ask them to talk and see if they hit it off. If things get so it is clear we are all interested then a video call or phone call and non fakable pics etc. I was made out to be a prize dumbass recently by failing to do that step. That step is soon important even if everything seems so natural and is going well. Trust but verify is important as can be. Ideally though if the opportunity presents itself, I try to encourage as much contact between my wife and someone we are getting to know. Only hopefully a tad smoother than the guy you describe.Poor segue. Anytime a woman is showing enough interest in us as a family...I break that out as it is a family equation and not going to work if they are just into me...I make a point of having my wife...See more

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