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_Marc's blog
Wife here-
One of the great things I love about my husband is his love of people and ability to care for others. I am not inherently wired the same way. With people I’m close to, my heart is there for sure and I don’t mind going the extra mile for my close network of peeps that are either family or passed my trust anc time. But I do not do it in the impromptu way my hubby does things and I LOVE him for that. He’s definitely a man of few words and masculine in his thinking. He runs a traditional household but thinking of others without even “thinking” about it, is also part of what makes him who he is.
Situation one: One of the waitresses (single) at a cafe we frequent had mentioned in a quick simple chit chat, how she couldn’t get warm where she lives; and he goes and gifts her a heated blanket as a Christmas present. When he told me about his idea, I thought it was such a thoughtful thing to remember.
He gave it to her on one of the mornings he stopped off solo so later when we went together, I saw her hesitant to say anything. I asked my hubby if he had given her the present yet because I didn’t want to ruin the surprise. Once he said he had, I turned to where they all were and asked her how she liked the blanket. She nodded and I told her “oh good”; that I had to wait to be sure so as not to ruin the surprise. She immediately looked relieved and lit up talking about it. She loved the blanket (even now says she uses it every night). The other waitresses also chimed in with us that day too. It was such a happy little moment.
Well scenario two, yesterday another waitress(single) saw us come in and in the middle of her zipping by, stops to say hi to my hubby but then immediately turns to me and makes a point to say “first of all, good morning TO YOU” and then makes quick chit chat with him and me but looks mainly at me. Now I hardly know the waitresses as much as my hubby because the days he has to commute, he stops off at our cafe VERY early to grab a bite before traffic. So I wouldn’t expect her to converse with me as much as she knows him. I get it. She’s doing that to me to be respectful as his wife which is thoughtful. Later I made convo with her to put her at ease.
But here’s the thing, it’s sad to me that single woman and men who are simply being nice and innocently friendly feel like they have to do things like hold back genuine happiness/connecting moments because some husbands in the world are not making respectful choices and some wives in the world don’t want anyone talking to their husband no matter what. With our marriage, we have always been happy rooting for one another. We built a pretty solid foundation. So when other women brighten his day, it warms my heart. To me, while it was still a positive moment and I appreciate the respect, I would have much preferred watching the two of them catch up.
And I think if poly was more accepted in society, there would be a lot more genuine, happy moments across the board. When it comes down to it, we’re all just wanting to be loved, seen and appreciated.
All this to say that my observations proved, at the end of the day, people are just people and good people deserve to enjoy seeing and connecting with the people that make their lives better.
One of the great things I love about my husband is his love of people and ability to care for others. I am not inherently wired the same way. With people I’m close to, my heart is there for sure and I don’t mind going the extra mile for my close network of peeps that are either family or passed my trust anc time. But I do not do it in the impromptu way my hubby does things and I LOVE him for that. He’s definitely a man of few words and masculine in his thinking. He runs a traditional household but thinking of others without even “thinking” about it, is also part of what makes him who he is.
Situation one: One of the waitresses (single) at a cafe we frequent had mentioned in a quick simple chit chat, how she couldn’t get warm where she lives; and he goes and gifts her a heated blanket as a Christmas present. When he told me about his idea, I thought it was such a thoughtful thing to remember.
He gave it to her on one of the mornings he stopped off solo so later when we went together, I saw her hesitant to say anything. I asked my hubby if he had given her the present yet because I didn’t want to ruin the surprise. Once he said he had, I turned to where they all were and asked her how she liked the blanket. She nodded and I told her “oh good”; that I had to wait to be sure so as not to ruin the surprise. She immediately looked relieved and lit up talking about it. She loved the blanket (even now says she uses it every night). The other waitresses also chimed in with us that day too. It was such a happy little moment.
Well scenario two, yesterday another waitress(single) saw us come in and in the middle of her zipping by, stops to say hi to my hubby but then immediately turns to me and makes a point to say “first of all, good morning TO YOU” and then makes quick chit chat with him and me but looks mainly at me. Now I hardly know the waitresses as much as my hubby because the days he has to commute, he stops off at our cafe VERY early to grab a bite before traffic. So I wouldn’t expect her to converse with me as much as she knows him. I get it. She’s doing that to me to be respectful as his wife which is thoughtful. Later I made convo with her to put her at ease.
But here’s the thing, it’s sad to me that single woman and men who are simply being nice and innocently friendly feel like they have to do things like hold back genuine happiness/connecting moments because some husbands in the world are not making respectful choices and some wives in the world don’t want anyone talking to their husband no matter what. With our marriage, we have always been happy rooting for one another. We built a pretty solid foundation. So when other women brighten his day, it warms my heart. To me, while it was still a positive moment and I appreciate the respect, I would have much preferred watching the two of them catch up.
And I think if poly was more accepted in society, there would be a lot more genuine, happy moments across the board. When it comes down to it, we’re all just wanting to be loved, seen and appreciated.
All this to say that my observations proved, at the end of the day, people are just people and good people deserve to enjoy seeing and connecting with the people that make their lives better.
One of the things we like doing on our days off is our mini road trips along the river or through the foothills. We enjoy our regular places, stopping off here and there, but most of all, the different people we come across and the great conversations we get to have. Since it’s been raining or snowing with the roads blocked off, that’s been a no-go for the usual places.
And while we are open to seeing if we connect with someone specifically on this site, in all honesty, we are not holding our breath on that. It is a challenge to figure out the scammers, fakes and non-serious individuals. What we do appreciate is connecting with like minded people who have shared their insights and experiences in the poly community. Just reading through posts of those who’ve been willing to put it out there and give others a heads up, it has prevented us from negative outcomes. We have met great people, made some friends, and look forward to more friendships ahead!
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